It's been a while

But tonight I got to tell someone that it was me, not him. I kind of feel like a jerk, but really, it's best that I don't continue to waste his time and money.

The Gays

Robby: Right now my friends on Yahoo! Messenger are in 4 categories: Kentuky Gays, California Gays, US Gays, Global Gays.
Me: Where do the breeders fit in?
Robby: Oh, I don't talk to them

Robby Says

"I'm not sure about this whole internet dating thing. I mean, it's OK to find sex on the internet, but I'm not down with the finding the love of your life on the internet."

Awww...

People are reading. Thanks, guys!

Circles

Temp: My badge didn’t work this morning.
Me: That’s weird. It should be good for another month. Let me call Security.

Me: Temp’s badge didn’t work.
Security: It was automatically turned off because his account was disabled. Call IT.

Me: Temp’s badge was automatically turned off because his user account was disabled. What’s going on?
IT: His user account is fine. Here, let me send you the screen that says so.
Me: So what’s the problem? Why was his badge disabled?
IT: I don’t know. Call Security.

Dad's Take

Dad: You say he's a manager? How old is he and is he married?

Typical

So you go out. You meet up with your girlfriends. You wear your sequins, you wear your heels, you wear your makeup and you wear your cleavage. You buy one drink for yourself. Your drink is a prop. You hold it like a security blanket while you smile at the boys who meet the height/weight requirement and you stare into it when you are averting the gaze of the boys who don't. You run into someone that you know: a coworker, a former lover, a first date whose calls you've never returned. You make nice. You smile. You say that you have to get back to your friends and you walk away. You talk to someone new. He maybe buys you a drink. He says something a little rude and condescending. You are intrigued. Or maybe he says something sweet: tells you that you're pretty, compliments your eyes and you are turned off. You give him your number and he give you his, though you would never call him first. You drive home, a bit drunk, but cautious. You climb the stairs to your apartment, turn the lock, take off your pants and your bra and curl up in bed.