Circles

Temp: My badge didn’t work this morning.
Me: That’s weird. It should be good for another month. Let me call Security.

Me: Temp’s badge didn’t work.
Security: It was automatically turned off because his account was disabled. Call IT.

Me: Temp’s badge was automatically turned off because his user account was disabled. What’s going on?
IT: His user account is fine. Here, let me send you the screen that says so.
Me: So what’s the problem? Why was his badge disabled?
IT: I don’t know. Call Security.

Dad's Take

Dad: You say he's a manager? How old is he and is he married?

Typical

So you go out. You meet up with your girlfriends. You wear your sequins, you wear your heels, you wear your makeup and you wear your cleavage. You buy one drink for yourself. Your drink is a prop. You hold it like a security blanket while you smile at the boys who meet the height/weight requirement and you stare into it when you are averting the gaze of the boys who don't. You run into someone that you know: a coworker, a former lover, a first date whose calls you've never returned. You make nice. You smile. You say that you have to get back to your friends and you walk away. You talk to someone new. He maybe buys you a drink. He says something a little rude and condescending. You are intrigued. Or maybe he says something sweet: tells you that you're pretty, compliments your eyes and you are turned off. You give him your number and he give you his, though you would never call him first. You drive home, a bit drunk, but cautious. You climb the stairs to your apartment, turn the lock, take off your pants and your bra and curl up in bed.

The Jerk and The Wall combine forces to ruin my night

***I'm at the bar, I've just ordered club soda and I'm about to head back to the patio.***

Jerk: Hey!
Me: Um, hi.
Jerk: I saw you earlier but you seemed like you were on a mission
Me: Um, yeah, I was headed to the ladies room.
Jerk: So how have you been?
Me: Good. I just got a promotion yesterday, so I'm pretty excited about that. As of Monday, I'm going to be The Man.
Jerk: Or, the WO-Man
Me: Oh, no. I'll be The Man. I have my surgery scheduled
Jerk: (silence)
Me: That was a joke
Jerk: Oh, yeah, well I'm a little drunk
Me: I'm pretty sure that even if you were sober you still wouldn't have laughed
Jerk: (silence)
Me: Well, I have to get back out to the patio. See you around.

***Walk back out to the patio. Look for my friend. Friend not there. See her ex and his friend, The Wall***

Wall: You look really hot tonight. I didn't even recognize you.
Me: Are you saying that I don't usually look hot?
Wall: You just look especially hot tonight.
Me: Um, thanks. Can we change the subject now?
Wall: I think that's the hottest thing you ever worn.
Me: OK, this is now the second most awkward conversation I've had tonight

***30 minutes later. I've found my friend. I am ready to leave***

Me: I'm going to head home
Wall: No! Come back to my place
Me: No
Wall: Come on, it'll be fun
Me: Absolutely not.
Wall: Come on
Me: J*****, how many times have you asked me to go somewhere with you, and how many times have I actually said yes?
Wall: Come on, there's a cab right there.
Me: I'm going to go. It's been a pleasure, as always.

Joining Middle Management, or The Evil You Know

Tuesday I got a job offer. Wait, let's rewind:

I work in an office. I have a job that that doesn't use more that 20% of my brain, doesn't use my degree, and rarely uses 8 hours in a given day. It pays too little and requires less. I don't help the planet, and I'm not going to get rich. Overall, though, I'm not dissatisfied. I have a great boss, I have the best coworkers, I have flexibility and I have a lot of leeway.

Months ago I was referred for a job, doing about the same thing I was doing a couple years ago but for more money and with a longer commute. Much longer. Much. I made it through the third round of interviews. I Smiled, acted like a responsible adult, looked squarely in the eyes and all the middle aged women who shook my hand. I even wore a watch, a watch that half way through the second-round interview I realized was stopped. The position didn't turn out. They lost funding for the job or some such nonsense and I continued to drag myself to my job as a corporate drone.

This brings us to Tuesday, when more-money-longer-commute company called me up and made me an offer. Slightly higher base salary with a bonus structure that would translate to about 10 to 15k a year. I was so excited, I was thinking, "Yes! A change! Possibly a challenge!" I accepted the job yesterday and was planning on giving my notice today. I didn't expect my current job to match the offer.

Today I called up my boss to tell her. She asked me if I would consider staying, and I said yes. 7 hours later, she calls me back. Current employer matched the new base salary. No bonus. New title: Manager. I accepted. Here's why:

The math. Given the extra wear and tear on my car and the price of gas, I'd hardly be earning $100 more a month. That $100 would not be enough for me to:

1. Sit in my car an extra 8 hours a week
2. Work in a town that regularly gets about 100 degrees
3. Reconcile my environmentalist ideals with my commuter lifestyle
4. Give up riding my scooter to work
5. Have to make friends with new coworkers
6. Lose the amazing boss and coworkers that I work with now
7. Take a step back in seniority
8. Lose flexibilty with my schedule
9. Work for a smaller company that is less secure in the today's crap economy.

Overall, I think I did the right thing. Maybe I should have asked for more money from current employer, maybe I wouldn't have gotten it and maybe they would have walked me out of the building for going to work at a competitor. I don't like to think about the maybes. No, I'm not going to get rich doing what I'm doing. No, I'm not going to change the world. I make enough to live and live pretty well. I make enough to travel a bit, to eat out, to buy organic produce, and to be comfortable in the world around me. That's not bad. Not bad at all.