Dear Job Seeker

Dear Job Seeker,

Your out-going ring is not professional. When you make me listen to crappy country or gangsta rap, I do NOT want to consider you for a job.

Please take the necessary steps to remedy this at your earliest convenience.

Regards,

Office Monkey

The Wall, revisited

Background: While out last night I run into The Wall (of "talking to a wall" fame). I say hello and I'm friendly. We make small talk because I'm friends with his freinds. Everything is fine until...

Him: So are you coming over tonight?
Me: No
Him: Why not?
Me: I'm going home.
Him: There are a bunch of cool people at my complex we could hang out with
Me: I know. I've been there
Him: So are you coming over?
Me: No.

Paraphrasing My Job

Hiring Manager: Candidates need at least 5 years of Loadrunner experience.

Me: This candidate has 8 years.

Hiring Manager: It's only 1 line on his resume. I'm not interested.

Me: Would you like to at least talk to him?

Hiring Manager: No. You're stupid.

Me: Right now the Loadrunner position is our only priority. All of our other hiring managers are out of the office.

Recruiter: OK, we're on it.

***30 minutes later***

Recruiter: Here's candidate X's resume for your other position

Me: Thanks, but this manager is out of town all week. Please focus on Loadrunner

***Next day***

Recruiter: Do you have any feedback on Candidate X?

Me: No, You're stupid.