Thursday, July 19, 2007

Apply Within

Job title: Julia's Boy

Pay rate: DOE with excellent benefits

Hours: Flexible

Work environment:

Julia is a college-educated professional. She is generally well-spoken, funny and fairly pretty. She is intelligent and giving and expects the same.

Hard Skills and/or Qualifications required:

This role must be filled by an individual who can process information and implement into action at an accelerated level with the utmost quality. The position will require a candidate who can multi-task with a great attention to detail. This individual will provide the highest level of support of Julia's entertainment and emotions

Preferred BS/BA degree, minimum 3 - 5 years of related relationship experience.

Soft skills required:

  • Communication skills (written, verbal, interpersonal)
  • Ability to build relationship with Julia's peers and cross functional organizations
  • Presentation skills
  • Self motivated and responsive
  • Excellent follow-through
  • Flexibility in a fast-paced, changing environment
  • Ability to absorb information and communicate effectively
  • Approachable and friendly

Essential job functions:

  • Planning and implementation of dates
  • Engagement in conversations
  • Acting as the "big spoon"
  • Sexual reciprocation
  • Occasional charming of friends, coworkers, and family members

Additional essential information:

This position cannot be filled by anyone with the following characteristics:

  • Owns more that 10 pairs of shoes
  • Religious
  • Lives with parents
  • Lacks career ambition
  • Thinks he's a musician
  • Has body piercings or neck tattoos